A Few Words to the Wise –

Wisdom of the Internet

  • She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.- Groucho Marx
  • I’VE GOT A PERFECT BODY, BUT IT’S IN THE TRUNK AND BEGINNING TO SMELL
  • A man is not poor if he can still laugh.
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
  • Bravery isn’t not being afraid. Bravery is being afraid but doing it anyway
  • A winner is a loser who never gave up
  • Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
  • You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same.
  • When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.
  • Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
  • Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
  • "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known." – Walt Disney"
  • A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."- Frank Lloyd Wright
  • Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.- George Burns
  • Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.- Mae West
  • Marge, I’m going to miss you so much. And it’s not just the sex. It’s also the food preparation.- Homer Simpson
  • I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.- Groucho Marx
  • It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.- Woody Allen
  • It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men.- Mae West
  • It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.- Mae West
  • It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.- George Burns
  • Income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.- Will Rogers
  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.- Will Rogers
  • ‘Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!’ ‘Goodness had nothing to do with it’.- Mae West
  • Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.- Woody Allen
  • He who can does. He who cannot, teaches.- George Bernard Shaw
  • He’s the kind of man who picks his friends – to pieces.- Mae West
  • His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.- Mae West
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There’s no sense being a damn fool about it.- W. C. Fields
  • If it sells, it’s art.- Frank Lloyd
  • If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.- David Brent
  • If you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.- John Wayne
  • I’m tired, send one of them home.- Mae West, when told there were 10 men waiting to meet her in her dressing-room
  • In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minute of my life.- George Burns

How come this is all from really old mostly dead people?  Where’s the wisdom of our youth?  Comments?

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