Best Twitterer yet: shitmydadsays

            You gotta love Twitter: this is from @shitmydadsays

            Bio I’m 29. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says –

    • "You’re gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it’s not the size of the asshole you worry about, it’s how much shit comes out of it."

    • "Just pay the parking ticket. Don’t be so outraged. You’re not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."

    • "I like the dog. If he can’t eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

    • "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

    • "You’re being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That’s not exactly what I’d call "a lot to lose."

    • "I’m sitting in one of those TGI Friday’s places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth."

    • "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you."

    • "Happy birthday, I didn’t get you a present…Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then too, unless it’s shitty."

    • "I’m having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain’t mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil’ fucking umbrella in it"

    • "The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog."


              I’m not sure where this came from but it’s the best thing Travis Pickle quote today: “Someday a constant misting rain will come and mildly annoy all this scum on the streets.”

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              2 Responses to Best Twitterer yet: shitmydadsays

              1. Ted says:

                Came from Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver: "Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets." Pickle\’s is better.

              2. Ted says:

                I am sooo following shitmydadsays now!!!

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