Burma Shave – poetry

Tip O’ the Hat to my friend John –

Burma Shave was a shaving cream product that put 5 little signs along the highways all across America in an era when cars seldom went over 60 miles per hour.  They were spaced so that you could read them comfortably at that speed.  Lots more fun than sewing cards or playing “slug bug”.

 DON’T STICK YOUR ELBOW OUT SO FAR ,
 IT MAY GO HOME IN ANOTHER CAR. – Burma Shave
 
SRING HAS SPRUNG, THE GRASS HAS RIS,
WHERE LAST YEARS CARLESS DRIVERS IS.  -Burma Shave
TRAINS DON’T WANDER ALL OVER THE MAP,
‘CAUSE NOBODY SITS IN THE ENGINEER’S LAP – Burma Shave
 
SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH BY MISTAKE,
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER HUSBAND JAKE  -Burma Shave
 
DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE,
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT -Burma Shave
 
DROVE TOO LONG,
DRIVER SNOOZING,
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING -Burma Shave
 
BROTHER SPEEDER LET’S REHEARSE,
ALL TOGETHER GOOD MORNING, NURSE -Burma Shave
 
CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR,
LET’S HAVE LESS BULL AND A LITTLE MORE STEER -Burma Shave
 
SPEED WAS HIGH,
WEATHER WAS NOT,
TIRES WERE THIN,
X MARKS THE SPOT -Burma Shave
 
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE -Burma Shave
 
AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT,
BEAUTIFUL CAR WASN’T IT? -Burma Shave
 
NO MATTER THE PRICE,
NO MATTER HOW NEW,
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU -Burma Shave
 
A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN,
IS NOT THINKIN’ HE’S JUST HOPIN’ -Burma Shave
 
AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY,
A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT IT’S HARD TO PLAY -Burma Shave
 
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL, EYES ON THE ROAD,
THAT’S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER’S CODE -Burma Shave
 
THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE’S BEEN DRINKING,
DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING     -Burma Shave
 
CAR IN DITCH,
DRIVER IN TREE,
THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. -Burma Shave
 
PASSING SCHOOL ZONE,
TAKE IT SLOW, LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW. -Burma Shave
 
HE SAW THE TRAIN AND TRIED TO DUCK IT
KICKED FIRST THE GAS
AND THEN THE BUCKET.     -Burma Shave
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